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deepundergroundpoetry.com

cockblock

it was our third date
i was confident i was going to get laid
everything was going great then
we went skinny dipping into the ocean and�
well�we encountered a 105-foot blue whale
the biggest fucking creature on earth today
best play it safe, i�ve heard stories about whales attacking humans before
i yelled at her
�STAY AWAY!�
but she was mesmerized
she swam up to it
�STOP IT!� �GET BACK!� i yelled
she started petting it
�NO, DON�T!�
�OH MY GOD!� she squealed
�IT�S SO BWEAUTIFUL!�
and all of the sudden a 12-foot-long,
1,000-pound penis jutted out
(the biggest penis on earth)
it raped her and killed her then ate her
there was nothing i could do but watch her suffer and die
then it turned on me but
i was a safe distance away
i made it to shore without a problem

but god damnit�
the ocean is FUCKED
i�m never going in there again