Closing Time

Dear DUP Poets,

I have a weird problem.

The urgency of this problem
Is just above the moderate mental thrum
of wondering when I'll hang a framed mirror I bought six weeks ago
and just below 
deciding whether or not to join Noom

It's certainly a first world problem:
I can't decide on a closing for my personal emails and messages.

Really.

That's it.

Lately I've settled for 
Cheers, Wendy
like I'm lifting a pint to you in an Irish pub, mate!
A nice thought.
But it doesn't quite fit.

What I really want
is to end communication after the last sentence.
You already know who it's from.
Would the lack of closure leave you feeling confused and hurt?

As a teenager
Instead of putting my sister's name
on the envelope of a birthday card I handed her
I put "You know who you are" 
She laughed.
One of those sister moments when we got each other.

These are other closings I've considered or used, and how I think they come across when sent from me:

Sincerely, Hi, I'm in fourth grade.
Take care, I don't care.
Namaste, Hey, come over for lentils sometime. They're what I live on.
Warmly: I'm always polite, gracious and calm (I aspire to this one)
Love, I may not actually love you. Or I might and not want you to know it.
Peace, I haven't been myself since Jerry Garcia died.
Regards, I'm settling for perfunctory, and / or you bore me.
Best, Nothing but the finest for you! May your tampon applicators be 18 karat gold and may you never have to fly a budget airline.

I actually did some research on closings.
Worst: May you live on and shower others with blessings,
I don't think many could pull this off.
Example: An email to a neighbor about returning your lawnmower:
So, yeah, if you could get it back to me by Friday, I'd appreciate it.
May you live on and shower others with blessings,
Fred

See what I mean?

There was one I kind of liked: You rock,

How much you want to bet Fred would get his lawnmower back by Thursday with that one?

I think I could pull that one off too.
But probably not with someone over 70
Or someone who knows I don't think they rock.
Or with someone i just met.
Or...

You know what?

I'm sick of thinking about this closings problem.


Whatever,
Wendy