deepundergroundpoetry.com
last deal
as long as there's
whiskey in the jar
there's wiggle room
for a sinner to roam
Please don't lead me astray
to where apologies take root
and forgiveness erases
the boot prints I left
while dancing
on the way down
More than an eternity
resting on this hand
and I don't mind
cause you can sure as hell
tell the queen of diamonds
by the way she shines
whiskey in the jar
there's wiggle room
for a sinner to roam
Please don't lead me astray
to where apologies take root
and forgiveness erases
the boot prints I left
while dancing
on the way down
More than an eternity
resting on this hand
and I don't mind
cause you can sure as hell
tell the queen of diamonds
by the way she shines
Published 15th Apr 2012
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The author encourages honest critique.
15th Apr 2012 8:12pm
this was in a different category to help me draw up a clearer interpretation; but either way you do it, this little one's got some attitude... and what a sudden gaze of a closer...
16th Apr 2012 1:57pm
thanks j- i wasnt sure if this breathed enough quite yet- but knew i wanted that ending...and the category i agree- just dont know what else to chose
16th Apr 2012 5:13pm
lightbaron
Spiritual poem? Even I am a bit unsure.:)
Packed. Potent.
The use of 'wiggle' with room was very
graphic for me and it worked just fine.
And the last stanza (especially the
last two lines) is a winner.
Write on
Sumeet
Spiritual poem? Even I am a bit unsure.:)
Packed. Potent.
The use of 'wiggle' with room was very
graphic for me and it worked just fine.
And the last stanza (especially the
last two lines) is a winner.
Write on
Sumeet
thanks sumeet, again im not quite sure if this is this pieces final stance...but thanks for your words
and again im not quite sure of category- for me its not "dark", "spiritual"necessarily,"not "self"though it lend itself there...just couldnt make it fit
and again im not quite sure of category- for me its not "dark", "spiritual"necessarily,"not "self"though it lend itself there...just couldnt make it fit
