deepundergroundpoetry.com
Rose
Carefully cutting away the detritus of last year’s blooms, dead canes, disease.
Ridding myself of the negatives that weigh on my mind depleting my stamina, strength and joy.
Encouraging new growth
Next year’s blooms
Leaving what is healthy and vital.
I choose cuts carefully.
Not burdening myself with malice, anxiety, fear or guilt.
Removing what is harmful out of necessity- cleansing.
Nurturing new, vernal growth in my rose and myself.
So
I can be a better person for those who are deserving.
Ridding myself of the negatives that weigh on my mind depleting my stamina, strength and joy.
Encouraging new growth
Next year’s blooms
Leaving what is healthy and vital.
I choose cuts carefully.
Not burdening myself with malice, anxiety, fear or guilt.
Removing what is harmful out of necessity- cleansing.
Nurturing new, vernal growth in my rose and myself.
So
I can be a better person for those who are deserving.
Published 26th May 2023
Author's Note
I was trying to pair the ideas of pruning a rose to encourage new growth with the idea of pruning away harmful thoughts, habits and people from my life with alternating stanzas. I don’t think it quite hits the mark. I would appreciate your feedback.
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Dear T,
I think this is an excellent metaphor for ridding the toxic thoughts and people from our circles of influence and comfort. The use and imagery of the flowers is lovely. I think your message is terrific. It’s a really beautiful poem. H🌷
I think this is an excellent metaphor for ridding the toxic thoughts and people from our circles of influence and comfort. The use and imagery of the flowers is lovely. I think your message is terrific. It’s a really beautiful poem. H🌷
27th May 2023 12:48pm
It hits the mark. Wonderful poem.
Self care and love is the most important kind.
Self care and love is the most important kind.
7th Aug 2023 3:28am
I'm sorry that I don't do actual critique. But I do strive for honesty.
That being said, this is a great example of writing towards an audience, as I call it. Describing lush details is the hook we use to gain and keep the readers attention. You succeed well here. As it plays out, theme will fall into place by layers. Again , you do this well.
An awesome write.
That being said, this is a great example of writing towards an audience, as I call it. Describing lush details is the hook we use to gain and keep the readers attention. You succeed well here. As it plays out, theme will fall into place by layers. Again , you do this well.
An awesome write.
7th Aug 2023 3:38am
Dear Styxian,
Thank you. I like that you were hooked by the idea. It was not really intentional- I was thinking about it while pruning the rose that is currently in my care.
Thank you. I like that you were hooked by the idea. It was not really intentional- I was thinking about it while pruning the rose that is currently in my care.
