Lovers touch

Desperate for a lovers touch
Willing to receive little, so that I might give much
Yesterday around so many who congratulated themselves for parenting little abandoned me
Not one of them ever saw me, they adoringly saw him, deaf to my cries and plea
And here I am an adult
Feeling shame and somehow at fault
Smile on my face as I dress up my abuser
Listening to the murmurings of all my accusers
And here today begging to be held and loved
That I would run back to him my jagged beloved
I would fall on his sharp edge
Just to tumble past the ledge
So lonely tonight
Looking past myself for another’s light
Trading one abuser for another
Just to be held by a ex-lover