Yesterday's heartbreak

Not only once  
Not only once, did you made me think that there could be forever  
Not only once that you took that back  
Then you said that we were never meant to be together  
And this fucking hurt.  
Because here I was,  
Who was an idiot.  
A moron,  
The pushover  
Who was hopeful  
Who fought for what mattered to me.  
 
Not only once did I tried to get over you  
Not only once did I tell myself that I finally did it  
So do you think that I did? That it happened?  
And this is the best part.  
Not only once I tried to stop thinking about you,  
So fuck you for not only once still being part of my dreams.  
Where I could’ve lied and be in the sound and comfort of my sleep  
You who not only once, invaded what I thought was left for me.  
 
Freaking hilarious isn’t it.  
Once, twice or even more than that,  
Not only once that I did tried to hold back  
To try to talk to you  
Because for the longest time, you were still the person  
I wanted to speak to, to share whatever the hell crap I am feeling right now,  
Even if you’re half the reason for this shitty feeling.  
 
Not only once did I tried to stick it in my head  
That we were over,  
Not only once did I tried to punch my chest  
Because I had to let my heart know that you will never come back  
 
Not only once that I tried convincing myself that you will never be mine. Again  
No matter how many times the crowd tells me that you  
You, the person I loved  
I shared a chapter with  
I open my heart to  
Is happy,  
,Is free  
And in the arms of not mine,  
 but another