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crashed into by hell
with the speed and weight of chaos flying
inflamed cantankerous a rotting lying
ulceration of lust and charm
disarming brilliant wit and a
killer smile
big enough to fit
me into the palm of his
shark hands
quick, rough and groping
with one grand
easy landing
defiling sweep
his choice what to take and keep
with steeping heavy steps
that broke through me like an earthquake
shattered me like glass
while he fed his win
and laughed
crashed in
to my sensitive life
and made fast in me
a new beautiful
home for himself
to trash.
like his own.
inflamed cantankerous a rotting lying
ulceration of lust and charm
disarming brilliant wit and a
killer smile
big enough to fit
me into the palm of his
shark hands
quick, rough and groping
with one grand
easy landing
defiling sweep
his choice what to take and keep
with steeping heavy steps
that broke through me like an earthquake
shattered me like glass
while he fed his win
and laughed
crashed in
to my sensitive life
and made fast in me
a new beautiful
home for himself
to trash.
like his own.
Published 14th Apr 2012
| Edited 18th Apr 2012
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14th Apr 2012 5:37am
it is always hard to resist
temptation surely makes us wish
to put sin on our list
stroking more than egos i must insist
going much further than just a simple kiss
but like i said its always hard to resist....
temptation surely makes us wish
to put sin on our list
stroking more than egos i must insist
going much further than just a simple kiss
but like i said its always hard to resist....
15th Apr 2012 4:13am
That's for the response to this Goodest! You always have an interesting take I've noticed;-)
15th Apr 2012 1:09am
first, and this is so minor first stanza-think you meant "cantankerous"
anyway, it reads to me so fast and jerky, with its cadences, but makes sense. which intrigues me. Sounds really good,
"inflamed and cankerous a rotting lying
ulceration of lust and charm
disarming brilliant wit and a
killer smile"
"easy landing defiling sweep"
these fast paced and double or tripling up in descriptive terms work very well. these are just two examples that really stuck out to me.
also thought the simple imagery of describing this shark handed fella as "trashing" your house, like his...was a powerful statement. the subject is quite disturbing, but you describe it with a certain cool contempt, that gives you control of over how you deal with the trash he left...good write!
anyway, it reads to me so fast and jerky, with its cadences, but makes sense. which intrigues me. Sounds really good,
"inflamed and cankerous a rotting lying
ulceration of lust and charm
disarming brilliant wit and a
killer smile"
"easy landing defiling sweep"
these fast paced and double or tripling up in descriptive terms work very well. these are just two examples that really stuck out to me.
also thought the simple imagery of describing this shark handed fella as "trashing" your house, like his...was a powerful statement. the subject is quite disturbing, but you describe it with a certain cool contempt, that gives you control of over how you deal with the trash he left...good write!
15th Apr 2012 4:10am
Thanks Lightbaron. This was initially the first stanza of a much longer poem actually but I like it ending right there and the rest of it beginning on it's own with the following verse. That one isn't completed yet but may be soon. That one gets even faster actually and more complex in rhythm so it's taking more time but it will be tight when it's finally finished and gets posted.
And thanks for the word verification...
And thanks for the word verification...
