The webs you weave

Tears flooded my face,  
as I watched you walk away.  
 
Everything changed that day.
 
As I closed the door,  
gripping the handle as my knuckles turned white.
 
I didn’t sleep at all that night.  
 
In fact I can’t remember the last time I felt well rested,  
the pain has always persisted.
 
I tried to convince myself of my worth,  
but I was lost and the demons insisted,
on a different solution.  
 
When you left I was drowning in the pollution of it all.  
 
I never felt so small.
 
I felt my heart shatter,  
and suddenly the love I had for you didn’t matter.  
 
It felt like the pieces of my heart were slicing me from within,  
hating myself in my own skin.  
 
Like you set me on fire and left me to burn.  
 
Then I got mad and wondered when it would be your turn,  
scars like these are inflicted not earned.  
 
I remember crying so much that I couldn’t eat,  
falling so hard I could breathe.  
 
Blaming myself,  
and blaming God.  
 
As if he forced you to leave,  
but you made your choice and left me to bleed.
 
Now I’m forced to untangle the webs that you weave.