The Last time .

 
I wish for more don’t we all but previously
when I was all in and not one thought of
what could go wrong you left . No goodbye
No explanations why , no honesty or respect .
You said so many lies the one about cancer
was a new level of deception all to cover up
an affair . I heard six months later you had
married through the grapevine and a child
was on the way . I never heard a thing from
you and since that fiasco I’ve never been
the same . My life changed and trusting is
such a chore and closeness brings me to
a vulnerability that I can’t endure  it’s too
much wrapped up in a thousand thoughts
but still not one that sets me free. I’m still
waiting on the sound of a closing door while
I stand arms wide to welcome your arrival
but you already went and I didn’t know it
was the last time . No I’ve never felt the same
Lies and deceit set me alight and it’s burnt
Me to charcoal on the inside with one word
On my lips why ?. I now think loving and hate
are the same .