Stockholm Syndrome

i want to touch you like the first time you touched me
the fire you lit could have burned up the sea

when our eyes met my heart started beating faster
when you slid yourself in I wept and called you a bastard

you said you loved me and that I was smooth
i felt numb as I bled and knew this was true

you said you loved me and that I was soft
as pretty as a butterfly or moonlit moth

I said you were ugly and a fat old man

after a moment you went all the way in
I knew you were almost done and waited for the end

you said I was your woman now and to behave
i obeyed because I had only been nine for a day

now I look back into the days of youth
and all I can remember is you

I am 18 now and can’t find help
I can’t trust anyone
Not even myself
you are all that I love and I know this is wrong
but I love you because you have loved me so long