Lustful Pain

Maybe you're hoping one day you'll convince him to change or that it's more complex than that. Could it be somehow you feel it's justified being treated that way?

Thank you for your feedback. It's more so what you said first. I like to try to see the best in everybody and by doing that, I like to give them the benefit of the doubt...i thought I could convince him to see my point of view because he seemed so unaware of the damage he was inflicting on my mind. However, I let him see my vulnerable side to deeply and now he has chosen to take complete advantage of it and attempt in making me doubt my own values....my own beliefs....my own core values....and I don't know how to escape. Lucky, this is only an online relationship I'm talking about, so it'll probably be easier to escape....however, right now I'm stuck....because of lust. What was once just fun and games has now turned into a very toxic relationship.  
 
P.s It is him who is also trying to convince my mind that his actions are justified and that I deserve to be treated this way.....predators are VERY real.

You're obviously getting some kind of excitement from this toxicity. If I were you though, I'd start treating this online relationship more as a game than the mental torture it is becoming, which can be dangerous too. At least the sex is safe but risking your own mental health on him, hmmm, not sure that's a good idea but you seem in touch with the reality of it all, at least. It's time to turn the tables! 😊

Thanks, yeah. You pretty much just stated what I have pretty much been saying this entire time. It's the reason I keep using the term "lust" I was looking at it like a game for like 5 hours haha, then I started to think about the negative effects that I am allowing to enter my world. Forcing me to take a more serious and logical look at the situation.

Situation, I love that word. You are so 'on it'. Knowing you deserve better is something. This dude just hasn't got the balance right. I couldn't continue with someone if they didn't at least show me some consideration or make me feel wanted on a broader scale, some of the time. 😊

Thank you so much again! I seem to keep saying that to you lol. I doubt my own strength so often that, at times I forget what I am capable of. I know I don't need confirmation or validation but, what you just said to me there, meant the WORLD to me. It is a great reminder that, I am going the right path. The 'right flow" as I like to call it. I hope I am strong enough to make it through this most recent challenge. I fear  I might not survive this and all the world has been throwing at me lately. Self doubt is real and I hope to conquer THAT as well. Seems it's the only sure way to survive.

I'm concerned you're not using your energetic force field and proper communication skills.  Please read the 4 agreements by don miguel ruiz.  Its a short read.    
There are many types of mind and men and ideas and values and its easy to get caught up in every one else's viewpoint.    
Your goal is to be happy and to know you're on the path.  The only way to do that is to become a better listener.  In that moment of learning about yourself or others, honor the truth of the moment.  Honor how you feel, and live by it.  No need to question or quarrel.  If you are unsure about how to proceed that's normal, we are all terrified of following our hearts and souls, it takes courage that most of us do not have.  
And so then we go along with other people's ideas and views, because we don't have the courage to live our own.    
You will find your power when you are truly ready to embrace it.  Do not blame others for how you feel, that is a very slippery slope of misery which has no end, because we all experience these emotions of sadness, depression, grief, loneliness, and even lust,  but its not someone elses fault. It just your body, soul, and mind.  If you want to make progress accept it and move forward, if you can't, find a good Master to show you the way.

Thank you😌💜