My obession

Every since she first told you should weigh a bit less.
I have been obsessed to say to the least.
I find myself looking in the magazines over and over again.
Trying to find where I fit in my dreams of modeling went down the drain.
When I lost my grandma it hurt like hell cause she explained it all killed my insecurities.
As i grew older I didn't understand why i found myself as a young going on diets.
To no success being in tears cause im wondering why the weight was going no where.
Crying cause I didn't know why I didn't fit in with any group.
So alot of my homies were guys cause i loved sports and hated wearing anything besides sweats.
Cause when I wore tight jeans I didn't feel comfortable with my figure forming.
I was counting carbs in middle school and crying looking for my frame in magazines.
There was something they didn't tell me though they claim my mind be posion by the tv.
As i turned to watch the women on each channel as I grew older I cried less I realise something.
Men chased after women with curves loved them wrote songs and raps about them.
Dreamed and fanatise about them.
Here they were telling me I was over weight and started me obsessing looking at scales after every meal.
When men in reality loved women with curves they placed the words the wrong started me down a path of obsession.
Yet I still have work to do overcome it cause in away i still find myself secretly obsessed I find its the man at times it's me fighting my insecurities.