the awfulings

 
I am deep inside myself
and I can't get out of my head
there is the negative thinking and then there are the others
the other people in my mind
 
don't tell me they aren't real
that they are manifested parts of me
they have there own way of speaking
and unique to them are there postures  
posing my body in different ways
 
there is Elizabelle a teenager of about eighteen
and then there is our Father, a miscreant  
they talk to each other quite I often
and I just listen to them chat
a lot of times I don't have anything to say
 
Elizabelle has a funny way of saying things
and she calls our father Daddy
she queries what quantifies him as her daddy as opposed to me
he says she is of his own DNA sequence
in other words his offspring
he says she was of my soul and his
 
she is a darkling and such is privy to a secret alliance
the members of this group sometimes come to greet her
she is supposed to be taking cello lessons at Mr. Osbourne's house
but she doesn't want to
she wants her sexual drivers license but her daddy says she is much too young for these type of companions
within the infinite she is but a youngling
 
she is very curious about the humans
she observes them closely
she is undecided if she will choose to be born human
she doesn't like the idea of a solitary existence
meaning only hearing her own voice
she is so used to having the comforting chatter of the host
 
she is connected to me intimately
and her daddy assures her she will not be alone
she is happy enough for now to be experiencing things through my eyes
 
her opinions on a lot of things are different than mine
and she teaches me everyday a new perspective
she calls my husband the kindly old man who cares for us
my husband is aware of her
there is no hiding her existence
 
Father says him and I are old adversaries
that we had a conflict long ago
he is my Father and I love him
but we don't see things the same
 
Elizabelle came into being years ago
when my Father and I went to war
he won that battle and my little darkling was born
he tutored Elizabelle during her first years
and I wasn't able to see her
I remembered her conception but didn't know where she was
then he brought to her me after she toured the universes
my mind was in denial of her presence at first
now I have accepted her  
 
there are others out there like her out there
they have come to meet with Elizabelle
they've introduced themselves to me
they call themselves awfulings  
because they are terrors to their parents
 
some have gone on to be born human
but they maintain communication with the host
they don't operate on a single level
 
they act as one
they are watching
they are aware and among you