Ship to wreck

Trauma
Immure me deeply
Force your weakness through my veins
Tainting the very heart
that feeds
my skeletal remains
 
I lay dying here
morosely
Upon this pedestal
I’m frail
No way to elude the voices
Urging me  
to not prevail
 
My tears fall
nonchalantly  
To reveal my thinning husk
For those defining me as penetrable  
I breakdown most every dusk
 
I shy away from fawning
Hold my candle to the flame
But when I burn down to the bottom
I know I’ll never be the same
 
I accept that I am different
From a mold they made just one
Culled the best version of apathy
To show most everyone
 
I walked the line I had to
Kept all my stones in check
But I question the dishonour
As I led my ship to wreck
 
As I writhe here in my pity
Stirring in this brittle shell
I’m wondering if it is I  
who creates this modern hell
 
My own words are my prison
My inner voice is not my friend
If I don’t move forth with healing
This cycle will never end
 
If I take notice of my merit
If I forgive my inner spirit
Give my life perennial value
I’ll no longer need to fear it
 
As I adapt here in this moment
To quote my truth as it is penned
Having altered out this mindset
Is the reprieve they recommend