Existential Crisis

Irony plagued her life. All she ever wanted was a friend, not a friend to snatch her away from her life, but just an ear to listen...without judgment, without someone trying to save her from a battle of herself that she was not necessarily determined to win, but to change. She needed someone to be there to help her up when the blows were too much too often.
The life and history that flowed through her veins was the weight of generational contaminates. She just needed someone to inspire her that little is enough, and much is not needed, and God was reachable if you just get back up and seek his face.
And be a reminder when her faith runs low that he's not absent, but a silent reinforcement always for that which is right and good.
Honestly, as I reread this, I just need to get over myself. I mean why am I always striving to be someone that's not attainable? I believe in Jesus, so if he took away all sins and generational bondage, anything I'm trying to accomplish within is self motivated, grace has already said, its ok...let it go.
I guess I dont know how to and maybe that's simply the truth.
I guess I feel as if my sins are greater than his forgiveness. But that's not right, his gift of life and freedom was enough. I guess I dont know how to accept it.