Naked Dudes and Adverbs

In our house being naked is part of life. The bees do it and so do the turnip greens. If being naked is good enough for Skeeter Davis, Roy Acuff, and the preacher man, It's good enough for my family and kin folks. We often skinny dip in ma's redeye gravy and pinto beans.  

There is a sign on the door. "If you ain't naked, we ain't buying."  
 
My sister had a naked wedding and the organist played, "Oh Promise Me The key To your Playdough." The family didn't lose a daughter, it gained a revenure and a government mule.  
 
Grandpa does get off when watching reruns of Green Acres. We just pay him no mind because he is 104 and has forgotten where his catheter went.  
 
The outhouse has been suffering ghosts lately because the crap in it has been talking back. It use to be a treehouse, but the bottom fell out. The Medicine Man of the Kickapoo Tribe came over but had no luck kicking the poo. Unfortunately, he put a hex on the toilet paper, because it sticks to the ass.  
 
My grandma laid down Sally and forgot to get up. Grandpa ain't been right since. The preacher did have a revival and propped granny up in a chair. She sort of looked like an eggroll run over by Farmall Tractor. We are selling granny's old rocking chair to CarMax for a tax write-off.