again.

and in seconds i’m sick to my stomach
again
just thinking, thinking too much
i don’t even fear to judge
myself, thinking without having solutions
adding up, they’re all contributions
to waking up in a hospital bed and
too many hours in my head
sick to my stomach
ashamed, terrified
i am not alive
and in seconds i‘m sick to my stomach
again
by thinking -
thinking
will i ever be healthy
thinking
will i ever be enough
thinking
not feeling
thinking
too much
again.