Restless

...The brush of your cheek
You stiffening against me
...You asleep on the floor
But not really
 
But I pretended with you
Baby
I know you remember
Slid my hand up your thigh
To wake you
Slow
Tender
 
A feigned arousal
 
'Hey
Sleep on the couch
It's more comfortable'
 
All day, working on this house
 
The attic heat
Is a right  
Tight pit
"Hell"
Written on a piece of wood
Inside of it
 
All those weeks
You watched me
You didn't want to leave
Even if you had to endure
That blistering heat
 
The joke you made
I can stay here to sleep
I wanted to say yes
But he was watching me
 
I can't understand
How a man can slumber
While his house
Is being tended by another
 
A friend
From a broken residence

How could he let you tend and make sure I was kept?
Let you accept
My service
With gratitude
And respect?
 
How could he let you come  
To fix everything
In his home
Things you'd
Promised
To do through pained moans
 
For three weeks
You came
Almost 48 hour days
 
Always...
I felt your gaze
Attention
... The gestures you made
 
My God
 
It was so sudden
Like you wanted to know more
Questions
When I said
"That's a real man"
To know how I score
 
Why so interested?
 
Your sensory swirls in my head
In bed I lay awake
In wake of slumbering instead
 
How you clean your plate
Cause you know how it appeals to me
Or give a plant for my birthday
It wasnt your wife
Who knew the memory
 
Or my husband
 
My God
 
I love you
And everything you do
You see me baby
And everything I go through
 
My hustle  
My beauty
Everything I am
I love you boo
Shit. (I'm screwed)
I love you, My Lam.