deepundergroundpoetry.com
withdrawing its self
forever lays in the hands
to the one who is not spoken to directly
but yet as i say this
forever is not the option i would chose
but i am the one who would love to destroy forever
i am to hope that i will end up dieing
on the floor drownded in my own blood
my face to have blood streaked tears
screaming
dont help me . . . .
leave me . . . .
my body covered in maggots
you would think this is disturbing
but i find it love
but i know love is not true
becuz its withdrawing
from my soul
as i speak
to the one who is not spoken to directly
but yet as i say this
forever is not the option i would chose
but i am the one who would love to destroy forever
i am to hope that i will end up dieing
on the floor drownded in my own blood
my face to have blood streaked tears
screaming
dont help me . . . .
leave me . . . .
my body covered in maggots
you would think this is disturbing
but i find it love
but i know love is not true
becuz its withdrawing
from my soul
as i speak
Published 7th Feb 2010
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7th Feb 2010 1:09pm
i like the main idea and your usage of simple word "withdraw". i see cash machines spitting out money - and at the same time soul spitting out emotions, energy. but on the other hand, i think you could put more into this poem, make it more "disturbing" - it is asking for it :)
7th Feb 2010 3:51pm
Your poem contains so much emotion. I find it highly interesting. I somewhat agree with Natalya but I really like this poem.
