Vacant

My journey has come to an end
No life left to defend
I am empty
Mental illness has sent me
Into the arms of the enemy
Destinies destroyed  
Wishes unfulfilled  
Stability upended
Sent through the proverbial mill
Depression overtakes me; my conscience is thrilled
My body is spineless while my mind is strong willed  
Why can’t I escape this?
Why won’t it let go?
Why is it that sorrow is in every seed that you sow?
Where is the happiness?
Where is the glee?
When will elation overwhelm me?
Will I fathom enlightenment?  
Or appreciate rapport?
Why is it when I walk down the hallway
There’s another closed door?
Why didn’t I try harder?
Why didn’t I fight?
Why has this pain gripped me so endearingly tight?
It’ll be better in my next life
The one coming soon
Until then I’ll remain vacant  
Under the light of the moon