deepundergroundpoetry.com
Stomach Pump
For some fool idea of love
You scrawled your name
on the paper wall of death
to sleep when the pen falls
but what about me
you dumb bastard
What about life?
You scrawled your name
on the paper wall of death
to sleep when the pen falls
but what about me
you dumb bastard
What about life?
Published 13th Jan 2023
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likes 2
reading list entries 1
comments 3
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The author encourages honest critique.
15th Jan 2023 8:29am
Dear A,
I really appreciated the overt current of frustration toward that someone you love who makes a poor decision. It’s hurtful and selfish, and for me, it makes me question am I not enough to keep you here? I admired your use of language choice. It’s so direct and impactful. H🌷
I really appreciated the overt current of frustration toward that someone you love who makes a poor decision. It’s hurtful and selfish, and for me, it makes me question am I not enough to keep you here? I admired your use of language choice. It’s so direct and impactful. H🌷
15th Jan 2023 9:39am
At times only a shock and awe write can capture the moment but the more the internet is swamped by a tsunami of poems, the attention span of the reader (including me) dwindles proportionally. Keeping it short is becoming my norm.
Your comment gratefully received. Best ~Abra.
Your comment gratefully received. Best ~Abra.
17th Jan 2023 10:26am
this reminds me of how I react to people I know and love when they've reaped consequences of doing something predicted, patterned. this is poignant, because sometimes you only have a few words and have to just stop. thanks for continuing to share here.
