deepundergroundpoetry.com
Echoes in the Water
Deafening silence is my only company
I vainly try to hear the whispers
This torture strains my fragile sanity
The sound of rushing water has me itching closer.
-
What happened to the echoes in the water?
They were my only comfort in this hell
I’m expected to take pride in being the moon’s daughter
Yet even Luna is a distant companion in this cell.
-
It’s getting harder to breathe; all the air just rushes out of me
My legs begin to feel like lead; I feel like they’ve been torn to shreds
I’m naked for the world to see; a harsh act to gain humility
Words whirl around my head; all of them fills me with dread.
-
They say that I’m shameless, that I’ve got no sense.
You take every word at face value yet I’m the one who’s dense.
Doesn’t matter what you call me.
I’m brazen, audacious.
You say: “my touch makes you tense.”
I’m not that, but I’m shameless.
-
What happened to the echoes in the water?
They were my only source of sanity
And now I’m left feeling bitter
As the world indulges over self-vanity.
I vainly try to hear the whispers
This torture strains my fragile sanity
The sound of rushing water has me itching closer.
-
What happened to the echoes in the water?
They were my only comfort in this hell
I’m expected to take pride in being the moon’s daughter
Yet even Luna is a distant companion in this cell.
-
It’s getting harder to breathe; all the air just rushes out of me
My legs begin to feel like lead; I feel like they’ve been torn to shreds
I’m naked for the world to see; a harsh act to gain humility
Words whirl around my head; all of them fills me with dread.
-
They say that I’m shameless, that I’ve got no sense.
You take every word at face value yet I’m the one who’s dense.
Doesn’t matter what you call me.
I’m brazen, audacious.
You say: “my touch makes you tense.”
I’m not that, but I’m shameless.
-
What happened to the echoes in the water?
They were my only source of sanity
And now I’m left feeling bitter
As the world indulges over self-vanity.
Published 6th Jan 2023
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The author encourages honest critique.
10th Jan 2023 3:33am
I feel like this piece is touching into deep veins of time, relationships with others and yourself, your life journey in reflection, was my reaction as I read it. I think when we ask rhetorical questions in writing, we are opening ourselves up to answers that rise in that reflective silence that follows. There is a sense of the epistle or confessional in this that has a direct and honest cadence to its voice.
10th Jan 2023 10:13pm
13th Jan 2023 2:58am
Makes me think of someone hiding in a water-house, (where the water wheels are). Not because of a threat, but because they need to clear their head. Too much mental chaos, and the steady cycle of the wheel provides comfort while they figure things out.
At any rate, good poetry like this causes us to take it on ourselves and let it provide a portal to thoughts, even if it's a different portal than your own.
Very good write you have here. Even with the obvious frustrations being inked, you made it also show your strengths.
At any rate, good poetry like this causes us to take it on ourselves and let it provide a portal to thoughts, even if it's a different portal than your own.
Very good write you have here. Even with the obvious frustrations being inked, you made it also show your strengths.
13th Jan 2023 2:59am
Thank you for your comment and for adding my poem to your RL, Styxian. Sometimes, we just need a time out to collect ourselves.
