Vegan Vampires

Vegan Vampires

     “What is wrong with physical pleasure?”
     “Your obsession with my lip sugar is a hunger kind of like a vampire’s craving. Maybe I should bite my lip and draw blood so you can enjoy the  
kiss all the more. Why should I read Bram Stoker when I have a living Dracula for my husband?”
     “You don’t see me salivating at the blood bank.”
     “Hey, do you want garlic with your lasagna?”
     “Of course, no pasta is complete without garlic.”
     “You aren’t a vampire because those creatures are repelled by garlic.”
     “If you kiss me on the lips I’ll fast for a day and you can donate the money for what would have been my portion to your favorite charity. You won’t feel like a charm bracelet on a flea market rack that way.”
      “Treat me like a crochet afghan your Mama made that you would never sell at a flea market.”
     “Honey, I wouldn’t trade you for an original Stradivarius.”
     “Silly bean, you don’t play the violin.”
     “No, but I love baroque music.”
     “Did you marry me for my collection of Mozart albums?”
     “Actually for your Vivaldi albums.”
     “You joker. I knew there was a reason I wore my burgundy lipstick today. Pucker up, cowboy.”