Girdle (i)

I simply don't want to give in, but
 I just don't remember what I gave in
Just to see myself cave in, again.
These moments define me best,
Inner protests, and propaganda,
its politics and policies always in pieces,
I will never find my peace anytime soon.
"Stay strong”, but how am I supposed to?
Cause the least I do best is fail better,
Often I trip and drift in these emotions,
“What is there to like about myself?”
Weakness and failure with no option
to choose from but…put the negativity aside
It's these moments that define me.
For better or worse, they refine me
“Flee” or “fight”, flight is not an option
Its been a minute since I looked inside,
Even the weakest demons, grew stronger
I miss what I never had to deal with.
These auroras in the middle of the night,
Are where my heart travels to give in.