deepundergroundpoetry.com
it doesn't just come
you’re a force, you
grown
with a power
lassoed pulled
to earth
sweat sting
fingers
dug through dirt
toes buried silt
on the bottom of a river
will
anchored 4 feet down round
the roots of an oak
resting in the ribs
of your rolling hills
you
breathe with the grass
blowing over in waves
burn runes into the rocks
with your eyes, you
sing in guttural moans
whisper in no secrets
scream
i.
am.
here.
now.
in your own voice
your own stance, you
hold it down with your goddamn boots
fuck oppression
in all its forms
but bend
the way
the grass
blows
&you
are contagious
Written by
Jestalessa
Published 28th Aug 2022
| Edited 30th Jan 2023
Author's Note
For Missy, chillin' for a comp :)
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 11
reading list entries 4
comments 16
reads 873
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re. it doesn't just come
28th Aug 2022 2:01pm
Should the “you” after “force” be “you’ve”? A new poem by you is always an event for me, and I like this one very much. It’s an empowerment piece with some truly powerful expressive language. I’m especially fond of “burn runes into the rocks/with your eyes”.
1
Re: Re. it doesn't just come
31st Aug 2022 9:32am
that is so kind of you to say, sir. and though it would probably help with fluidity to use "you've", the first line is meant to be more of a statement by itself, and "grown" is used here like "[you are] grown".. an awfully American way to say it, I'll admit, and will rethink, perhaps. thank you for taking the time to leave your ever highly valued feedback :)
Re. it doesn't just come
28th Aug 2022 8:41pm
Dam you have done that thang. There is a play on personification that is in a class all to itself.
1
Re: Re. it doesn't just come
31st Aug 2022 9:34am
why thank you, Jazz.. always nice to get a little love on these guys. and an expletive is usually a pretty good sign around these parts :)
Re. it doesn't just come
Anonymous
28th Aug 2022 9:50pm
… I’m not crying… you’re crying… 🥲
‘Kin ‘ell mate, I think I’m going soft in my old age.
I have to say the earthy vibe to this is something that’s echoing exactly where I’m at at the moment. One day, I feel like I won’t come back at all and that’s because I will have vanished to live out my days surrounded by wildflowers on the moor.
Thank you for this. It’s rather amazing. Much like you, really.
-M
‘Kin ‘ell mate, I think I’m going soft in my old age.
I have to say the earthy vibe to this is something that’s echoing exactly where I’m at at the moment. One day, I feel like I won’t come back at all and that’s because I will have vanished to live out my days surrounded by wildflowers on the moor.
Thank you for this. It’s rather amazing. Much like you, really.
-M
2
Re: Re. it doesn't just come
31st Aug 2022 9:43am
you know how you get people that feel like something or somewhere? I don't get that off everyone, but to me, you're one of those.
somehow I think expression keeps the mind more grounded, and both that peace and your force come through in your poetry.
chuffed you like it😁
somehow I think expression keeps the mind more grounded, and both that peace and your force come through in your poetry.
chuffed you like it😁
Anonymous
- Edited 23rd May 2024 11:45am
2nd Sep 2022 2:54am
<< post removed >>
Re. it doesn't just come
2nd Sep 2022 8:05am
you beautiful bean. thank you for the inspirational comp, the platform to appreciate the people we've grown to care for here, and for your comments.
so pleased you felt that stream, as it felt like one long line to me at first.. but it needed a little bit of a slowing in places, like we all do. always a delight when you stop in, m'dear. :)
so pleased you felt that stream, as it felt like one long line to me at first.. but it needed a little bit of a slowing in places, like we all do. always a delight when you stop in, m'dear. :)
Re. it doesn't just come
4th Sep 2022 4:08pm
"Burn runes into the rocks
with your eyes" -that line is ten feet tall and ten feet wide. In simple terms, what a way to leave an impression.
I want that line!
(Can i be superficial a second and say I miss your hoodie pic?)
Like Missy, you have a way of being precise within your creativity. As if every line, I say to myself "Damn, exactly". You two are like pillars that hold up the preferred world we should all be at.
Excellent write.
with your eyes" -that line is ten feet tall and ten feet wide. In simple terms, what a way to leave an impression.
I want that line!
(Can i be superficial a second and say I miss your hoodie pic?)
Like Missy, you have a way of being precise within your creativity. As if every line, I say to myself "Damn, exactly". You two are like pillars that hold up the preferred world we should all be at.
Excellent write.
1
Re: Re. it doesn't just come
5th Sep 2022 4:37pm
hey Styx, I'm so pleased you vibed with this. means a lot to know when a piece is relatable, so a "damn, exactly" is spot on what we hope for around here.
thank you for swinging through. also happy to hear your brief bout of nostaligia is cool now 😊
thank you for swinging through. also happy to hear your brief bout of nostaligia is cool now 😊
Re. it doesn't just come
Due to unforeseen circumstances, I must amend my last comment.
I suddenly do not miss the hoodie pic nearly as much. :-)
I suddenly do not miss the hoodie pic nearly as much. :-)
0
Re. it doesn't just come
6th Sep 2022 7:55pm
Yeah ! I love the expression ,it's great to let stuff out in words like this . Each human really does need another human !
0
Re: Re. it doesn't just come
26th Sep 2022 12:42pm
hey diddi, long time. thank you for leaving some thoughts, and I'm glad it brought some meaning for you :)
Re. it doesn't just come
26th Sep 2022 7:11am
You know its good when the words become invisible and you're there instead. "Pulled to earth sweat sting fingers" is what did it for me.
Glad to see another piece from you, reminds me of the ways I want to improve. 👏
Glad to see another piece from you, reminds me of the ways I want to improve. 👏
1
Re: Re. it doesn't just come
26th Sep 2022 12:48pm
that is an incredible thing to hear and beyond my paygrade, so thank you, DM.. and i felt those little bits in the first stanza myself, so really glad someone else appreciates their wee added value.
feel like I've temporarily given up on improving and just hope something good comes out these days. lovely to see you in my corner over here, though, keeps me open. cheers
feel like I've temporarily given up on improving and just hope something good comes out these days. lovely to see you in my corner over here, though, keeps me open. cheers
Re. it doesn't just come
31st Dec 2023 4:45pm