sun.shine

i found this piece really interesting in the way it's read aloud with the full stops, it commands the reader to experience the thought process and offers a small glimpse into how thoughts can stutter, it also echoes and gives a base for that feeling of being inbetween different experiences and situations too,  

it reminds me of how everything is happening all at once and how they cross over eachother to the point of feeling like you're not able to think or feel straight  

this was a fantastic little gem and spoke on different levels for me, thank you for sharing 🙂

good to see you on the ole updates j 😎

-ethan

that is dead sweet of you to say, Ethan, thank you so much :)

I don't adore the poem because it's too much like what my head is like, not the order I would rather try to carve into a piece of writing.. pretty sure ADHD isn't off the cards, actually.  

I'm glad my reality came across, but I'm sorry it's so vague and disjointed.. might revisit it, or create a part two, if I can be arsed. your eyes here are always a high privilege, so thank you kindly for leaving your view 🌻

i can't speak for anybody else who may read this, but on the contrary i think the vagueness and disjointed way it's been written actually allowed me a little glimpse of experiencing what ADHD could possibly feel like from an outside perspective, also not only that but how other emotions can make a person have scattered thoughts depending on the situations they're in of course and how in they can align in some way or some form 🙂

i've always been a sucker for realism and you always nail it very well :]

Dear J,

I would agree with feral, this is a terrific write in and of itself additionally in showing another what it might be like to have adhd. What I thought was interesting was the quick, staccato like rhythm you start off with in the first stanza seems to resolve and flow more evenly by the last one as we see the place where comfort and peace can be found.
Outstanding poem. H🌷

I love how you pull your poems out of your head seemingly flawlessly.  Even your chaos has structure.  
I totally get the why you snapped these lines off, like you wanted to break them.
But especially the second part, it's too strong to suffer in the abruptness.

Totally intrigued by the way this was composed. Periods in the middle of the lines, accentuated by "t's new being between    
something". Really focuses the reader on where the complete though ends and begins!

I’ve been meaning to comment on this for like a week. But apparently I’ve been getting distracted by shiny things again. So apologies.

The full stops in this are so effective, and there’s this great contrast in its construction of wanting finality and dwelling in uncertainty.

I don’t have much experience concerning ADHD, but it does communicate a certain air of disjointedness that I can appreciate. It made me think of the brain as a whole — how no brain is the same. How we process. How we fixate, and not always on the right or the correct thing.

That last line of wrapping peace around someone else I found really powerful. And I kind of thought how the person you are wrapping your own peace around in the poem is yourself. Sometimes, the relief is knowing that somebody else is there, and it’s something we all strive for on a very human level.

This poem taught me a few things. That we’re all different. And yet, at our core, all the same in our wants, longings, animal brain.

Thank you for sharing.

-M

May you one day find that peace you seek whilst walking in the hills - preferably with me!

i thoroughly enjoyed this

Break time over.  It's time for you to write more.

Love this...(melodic trill) the last stanza is very satisfying. Beautiful work sister