Mom

I walk down to Milton,
Give money to Jacob.
He buys me a small bag.
I smile and thank him.

I steal a spoon from my mother.
I'll claim that she lost it,
Pro'ly di'n't notice
You threw it in the garbage.

I'll light a nice candle.
My room smells like flowers,
Scorching the metal,
I'll be gone for hours.

I drown the white cotton,
In tears and denial.
I get out the rig now,
My spoon is a vial.

The belt from my childhood,
Brand Hannah Montana.
Everybody makes mistakes
I feel like a phantom.

Pull it off with my teeth,
I take out my needle,
Set it next to the candle,
Position : fetal.

I don't wanna hurt now,
I don't wanna die.
No thoughts in my head,
My body in the sky.

Closing my eyes,
I say "Just for a minute,"
My room is a safe place,
I'm glad that I'm in it.

Thirty hours went by,
My candle burned out,
My body still lay there,
Vomit on my mouth.

My skin had run cold,
Before she could find me.
Just one more of her kids,
She lost to society.