Sight

I actually sat down and starting thinking
Of everything that is wrong with me
If you want to read a self-revelation,
come along and see
I acted like such a freak
I cared about nothing, but I came out smart
People hated me and I had such a stupid
Terrible start
I loved the nerds
and not the amazing kind
and none of it ever occurred
to me in my narrow idiot mind
I took me spelling and hopped on a bandwagon
Acted like a moron that no one liked
This comes to the difficult part
when the realization of my faults should've spiked
I fell in 'love'
and never knew
that I never meant shit
not a thing, to you
But when I fell
I fell evidently on my brain
Because then I dated and dated
Feeling none of the pain
and things went on like that for a while
I never noticed, just naturally
put on my fake smile
Before I realized its artificial nature
Then it hit me
like an atom bomb
realizing every thing I am, everything is
Is totally and completely wrong
My stupid actions and their costly effects
And the fakeness of people and their rude spoken lashes
The fires that burned the memories of my past
and the few friends that arose from the smoldering ashes
But even now, I doubt my friends
Am I good enough, real enough?
or do I just seem fake
Should I leave them completely
hard decisions to make
And now I fall for guys at one glance
My analytic eyes looking for issues
and finding them instantly
Dissapointment arises and so do the blues
Im so critical, annoying
It bugs even me
Is this just a normal revelation
or am I the only one who can see?