The Roamer

As we lay, my head on his chest ,hand around my hip the other fondling my breast ,this is how we sleep almost every night thou we both know what we're doing is not right.  
Long distance is hard, nights get so cold and alone and he cant get warm by talking on the phone .  
So here i am, like a thief in the night and it feels so good to be held so tight.  
I am not selfish but this i would'nt want to share but am borrowing him since she cant be here .  
Reality is hard, for us both to face and there is no way i can take her place.  
Maybe its harder for him than it is for me cause he's the one tied up and am wild and free .  
Am so use to this now not that am insecure but i have been down this road so many times before, always chosen without being first choice but they always fall in love maybe i only add a little spice, am the flavor in their life but can never be the wife,  an adventure an experience , fuck it am a fling never the one who gets to wear the ring am a material, but not a wifely one am just the one to add a little more fun.  
I sit up and watch him as he sleeps not knowing deep down how much my heart weeps.  
Its been months, seconds, minutes, hours, days of getting him to adjust to my crazy ways and once he learns how to touch me without touching me, how to make me wet before even entering me how to make me moan , how i make him groan, how the hell can i leave this man alone, yet the Roamer i am i must move on and i will never be his number one.
Thou it hurts so much am trying to cope and  i cant hold on to that crazy word called hope , i will never ask him not to go back home cause i knew what know so i continue to roam.