feelings

A pulse is the only sign of life
Within my soul
I'm dead.
A recluse
Hiding from myself
Embarrassed of the words I've dealt
Living in a defiant haze
Seeking love from those incapable
Setting myself up for heart ache
All along the way
Unable to be adored
It's all I've ever wanted
But no, punched slapped and kicked
The only love I have is seeing the red pour
From my veins
Russian rullet with main arteries
Some day my pain
My suffering with come to an end.