Just Another Near Death Experience

They told me that my heart stopped
And that they don’t know why
They told me that I was dead
But that I just wouldn’t die
 
I told them they shouldn’t be surprised
I could tell them what they wanted to know
This wasn’t the first time and it won’t be the last
I don’t want to stay, but they won’t let me go
 
 
Because the devil don’t want me
And Heaven won’t have me
I’ve been dead and gone before
I’m too cool for the devil to hate  
And too hot for the pearly gate
And they just don’t want to deal with me no more
 
 
I’ve been electrified, crucified, and suicide
I’ve been called the man with nowhere to go
So this purgatory is my forever home
And I will just make the most out of what I know
 
I’ve been a pastor and a demon
Hoping they would make up their goddamned mind
But the owners of both Heaven and Hell
Tell me that I am just one of a kind
 

So the devil don’t want me
And Heaven won’t have me
I’ve been dead and gone before
I’m too cool for the devil to hate  
And too hot for the pearly gate
And they just don’t want to deal with me no more
 
 
So I go on and on, and on and on
There is no pleasure in this existence
But I will keep on trying to keep on dying
At least they can’t damn me for my persistence