deepundergroundpoetry.com
Mosh Pit SuperNova
it's all about the depth
charge
slam them back
another bang of glass on the bar
the band plays
smoke and a purple haze
of notes find a home as you follow the riffs
hands run amok
find the tell tale touch of
wet skin too much to take
sensation amps up
re-wires to a time when it was new
coarse press of stubble
feels like virgin sensation
rasp fills your ears
overlayed and plays along
this siren’s song
calls to every fibre
optic nerves burn
colours blast the retina
lights dazzle a spasm of blinks
shirt is too heavy
have to
pull
it
off
let the breeze tease hot flesh
bumps and grinds
it’s all soft and hard
hands everywhere
nails rake
fingerprints
palms that push
paint
brush
it's all about movement
ripples and eddies of a water bottle
in a car accident
then its about her
and him
a dingy room
his urgency
her softness
are a car wreck
she’s mangled between us
demanding steel and shattered glass
charge
slam them back
another bang of glass on the bar
the band plays
smoke and a purple haze
of notes find a home as you follow the riffs
hands run amok
find the tell tale touch of
wet skin too much to take
sensation amps up
re-wires to a time when it was new
coarse press of stubble
feels like virgin sensation
rasp fills your ears
overlayed and plays along
this siren’s song
calls to every fibre
optic nerves burn
colours blast the retina
lights dazzle a spasm of blinks
shirt is too heavy
have to
pull
it
off
let the breeze tease hot flesh
bumps and grinds
it’s all soft and hard
hands everywhere
nails rake
fingerprints
palms that push
paint
brush
it's all about movement
ripples and eddies of a water bottle
in a car accident
then its about her
and him
a dingy room
his urgency
her softness
are a car wreck
she’s mangled between us
demanding steel and shattered glass
Published 20th Jun 2022
Author's Note
An older write that I remembered reading something here recently
Heat
Need
Release
Etc
Heat
Need
Release
Etc
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 3
reading list entries 1
comments 8
reads 165
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
20th Jun 2022 1:41am
hello dearest poet holy fuck what an ending
to a very intense poem...I love the energy here
I'm going to shockfest to see Rob Zombie and others...
I hope not to get caught up in the mosh pits
but you know shit happens...
great write....
to a very intense poem...I love the energy here
I'm going to shockfest to see Rob Zombie and others...
I hope not to get caught up in the mosh pits
but you know shit happens...
great write....
20th Jun 2022 6:40pm
Sometimes it just happens,
Other times we walk head first into our own carwreck
Other times we walk head first into our own carwreck
20th Jun 2022 1:56am
I wanted to share this video with you...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWP_RQYKhGY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWP_RQYKhGY
20th Jun 2022 6:28pm
Anonymous
- Edited 23rd May 2024 11:45am
20th Jun 2022 10:38am
<< post removed >>
20th Jun 2022 6:27pm
Thanks Ethan, I was in clubs and a bouncer for a long time, so I hear you about music festivals and clubs
Health and Safety
Has sucked the life and soul out of so much,
The elements of danger were part of the thrill,
Thanks for seeing more than just the heaving of bodies
*bro fist* 🤛
Health and Safety
Has sucked the life and soul out of so much,
The elements of danger were part of the thrill,
Thanks for seeing more than just the heaving of bodies
*bro fist* 🤛
20th Jun 2022 2:26pm
Ethan said all the things. But still….
Holy balls, this blasted off the launch pad with so much force it fucking pinned me to the seat. The frenetic pacing, the audio-visual-touch cacophony, and the little slant-rhyme rifts was a gorgeous, dangerous ride.
This is some exciting shit.
Sooooo gooooood!!!
(Audio)
depth charge
slam
bang of glass
band plays
notes riffs
rasp fills your ears
overlayed and plays along
this siren’s song
(Visual)
smoke and a purple haze
optic nerves burn
colours blast the retina
lights dazzle a spasm of blinks
are a car wreck
she’s mangled between us
demanding steel and shattered glass
(Kinesthetic)
hands run amok
find the tell tale touch (slant rhyme, super cool)
wet skin
sensation amps up
re-wires to a time when it was new
coarse press of stubble
feels like virgin sensation
rasp fills your ears
overlayed and plays along
shirt is too heavy
let the breeze tease hot flesh (Another cool slant rhyme drop)
(Soooooo Hooootttt)
have to
pull
it
off
(This entire stanza is a symphony in touch:)
bumps and grinds
it’s all soft and hard
hands everywhere
nails rake
fingerprints
palms that push
paint
brush
it's all about movement
ripples and eddies of a water bottle
in a car accident
(Fucking Fuckballs! This is absolutely an incredible image:)
ripples and eddies of a water bottle
in a car accident
(This too)
then its about her
and him
a dingy room
his urgency
her softness
The tight energy is absolutely explosive. This is totally badass.
Holy balls, this blasted off the launch pad with so much force it fucking pinned me to the seat. The frenetic pacing, the audio-visual-touch cacophony, and the little slant-rhyme rifts was a gorgeous, dangerous ride.
This is some exciting shit.
Sooooo gooooood!!!
(Audio)
depth charge
slam
bang of glass
band plays
notes riffs
rasp fills your ears
overlayed and plays along
this siren’s song
(Visual)
smoke and a purple haze
optic nerves burn
colours blast the retina
lights dazzle a spasm of blinks
are a car wreck
she’s mangled between us
demanding steel and shattered glass
(Kinesthetic)
hands run amok
find the tell tale touch (slant rhyme, super cool)
wet skin
sensation amps up
re-wires to a time when it was new
coarse press of stubble
feels like virgin sensation
rasp fills your ears
overlayed and plays along
shirt is too heavy
let the breeze tease hot flesh (Another cool slant rhyme drop)
(Soooooo Hooootttt)
have to
pull
it
off
(This entire stanza is a symphony in touch:)
bumps and grinds
it’s all soft and hard
hands everywhere
nails rake
fingerprints
palms that push
paint
brush
it's all about movement
ripples and eddies of a water bottle
in a car accident
(Fucking Fuckballs! This is absolutely an incredible image:)
ripples and eddies of a water bottle
in a car accident
(This too)
then its about her
and him
a dingy room
his urgency
her softness
The tight energy is absolutely explosive. This is totally badass.
20th Jun 2022 5:24pm
It seems like you see everything sometimes,
The heat wet need in this piece I relied on sounds to do the undercurrent, sights to be forefront and touch to be everything else,
The rule of three but bent to suit the piece
original iteration had taste and scent in there but it was too much I couldn’t get it to sit right so I went with the three front and centre senses one feels when in a mosh pit…
Had to use kinetic touch before running into the final stanza for the erotic image to have any weight, as a bit of foreplay before the final act so to speak….
Plus I wanted to do the experience justice
The heat wet need in this piece I relied on sounds to do the undercurrent, sights to be forefront and touch to be everything else,
The rule of three but bent to suit the piece
original iteration had taste and scent in there but it was too much I couldn’t get it to sit right so I went with the three front and centre senses one feels when in a mosh pit…
Had to use kinetic touch before running into the final stanza for the erotic image to have any weight, as a bit of foreplay before the final act so to speak….
Plus I wanted to do the experience justice
