Today

Today I am angry
Today I am disappointed
I have no friends
I have no hope
I have no one to talk to
No one to turn to

I have bitter memories
Of missing out
Being left behind
Being abandoned
Punched in the eye
Of begging for mercy
Hitting into the wall
Cast across the room
Thrown through doors
Can't breath
Can't speak.
Of being insulted
Degraded
Ignored Isolated
Being used
Of being forced
Being lied to.
Being confused

Of calling the police
Countless times
Praying to be heard
And praying to die.
Stoic no tears
Then running to hide.
Violence
Fear
Manipulation
Lies

There is no peace
No escape
The memories
Find a way
Of seeping in
To hold me captive
Break my spirit
I'm maladaptive
To sour my joy
Make me afraid
I want to live
But I want to escape.