Doin' fine without you

A snapshot from a specific time and place-11th December 2011 .
Does not imply I feel the same way anymore.My feelings have changed somewhat.
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"Somethings are bound to failure like a sinking stone" ,From my poem, If you were the last woman.


We went too far too fast, It couldn't last .
I had no experienced past  for me to use to judge where we were headed,
all of that didn't help when we faced what I had dreaded.

It's hard for me to know how to feel.
I accepted it early,knew this was for real,
I've mourned the loss of what was,
embraced the chance to form the future,
found the bitch in the girl that I once loved and
Yet still laugh at your all too human ways.

Some say they'd give it all to be together
and don't mean it.
Well I've lived the truth of that
and made sure you've seen it.

I never planned to leave my home like that
give up all I knew,
So you're acting like a cunt
when you put me down, after all I sacrificed for you.
It took me so long to get into a good college and I was making solid progress,
then all that shit kicked off and I came to stay,HAD HOPED it was for the best.
Theres an example of just one opportunity I could've had,
if things hadn't turned out so bad.

It's hard to go from being so close and give it all up
but life is change and so it's fucking fickle luck
and there is life after love.
But love sometimes it feels just like an endless ordeal
the turning of the wheel
you find yourself  in a shift from bliss,to hard to bear being alive loneliness.

This is hard on everyone as we both know,
I was defined by what I was to you and so I have to let the single person I am show.
It's awkward because they USED TO call themselves friends
now I view them through a different lens.

Once I said I couldn't live without you,
turns out that ain't true.
Look at me now,
I'm doin' just fine without you.

Before it hurt to be apart,
now you're the person FURTHEST from my heart.
We were young and so naive
I am not convinced by anyone who tells me why I shouldn't leave,
as soon as I can
and make my way back in Scotland.

I would've NEVER set eyes on this spot of the map
and ever since I came there's always been a gap
between where I am and where I feel at home.
You weren't even ever willing to compromise,
That's where I belong,where I'm from, those AREN'T easy cut ties.

Being here,I build my life  mostly around  the idea of  'us'
then when that crumbled all I'm left here  with is dust
So had to find out again who my friends were and who it was I could trust.
You've made me re-evaluate what it is that I want in life,
whether I really want the engagement, to be  married, to have a wife.
I live an uncertain future, I'm taking it slow and playing it by ear.
There's no rush for me,I'm willing to give opportunity to be convinced why I should still stay here.

I'm trying to make the best of a bad situation,
I can see a light at the end of the tunnel
but don't know my destination.
Let me tell you I think I've learnt my lesson
a cautionary tale, of how to do things
of how fairy tale romances fail.