All the Wrong Reasons

I love you because you know how to leave.
You who touched my heart full of longing
Through thick clouds of weed smoke,
Making the high feel like the stars had aligned.

I love you because you taught me how to burn alive
When the numbness inside erupted into fire.
I walked happily through hell again and again
If only to hold your hand one more time.

I love you because you know how to make me feel lonely
Because lonely is all I've ever known.
I know only too well the feeling of my heart sinking,
And you never heard me long enough to hold me.

I love you because I was never the one you wanted.
You destroyed me and I destroyed you.
Still, I came every time you called,
Because my heart went "finally, someone to hold me"