to feel like myself

I don't remember what it means
to feel like myself
just an idea of a stranger I used to be
dormant, or dead
gathering dust
in the same robotic body

the same, but not unchanging--
passing through the days
lights fading, battery draining,
losing the life it once held.
pieces falling away, screws coming loose
parts covered in rust

I imagined it differently--
identity determined by a picture
on a card, but who do they see
when they look at me,
do they notice I'm missing
and they're staring at an empty shell?

I look at photographs
and don't recognize myself