deepundergroundpoetry.com
HONEY IS FOR BEES, EXCEPT WHEN YOU'RE A DARLING PINK STRAWBERRY
The other night I was thinking that
If I could be anything in this world
I'd like to be transliterated by every
word, received by some molecular
action pursuant to my fingers,
Let me be reduced to all the colors,
an abundance from which to choose
I want to be rendered motionless exerted by the way your fingers make me feel
let me make you're fingers feel that;
Tiny tawdry individual caressers,
Swirly lightening fires in the clouds,
makin' you misspell all your colors
Remind me of my favorite color
Honeydew filled with neon
Darling pink strawberries;
All mixed up emotions
Deep down in me.
If I could be anything in this world
I'd like to be transliterated by every
word, received by some molecular
action pursuant to my fingers,
Let me be reduced to all the colors,
an abundance from which to choose
I want to be rendered motionless exerted by the way your fingers make me feel
let me make you're fingers feel that;
Tiny tawdry individual caressers,
Swirly lightening fires in the clouds,
makin' you misspell all your colors
Remind me of my favorite color
Honeydew filled with neon
Darling pink strawberries;
All mixed up emotions
Deep down in me.
Published 22nd May 2022
Author's Note
I’m allergic to strawberries…
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 2
reading list entries 0
comments 1
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
23rd May 2022 11:37pm
Hello there
I enjoyed the visuals in this piece. The representation of colours throughout links back to the title in a really effortless way.
I feel that the middle verse feels a little weaker than the rest of the poem. In terms of constructive feedback, I almost feel like if that middle verse wasn’t there it would actually add a lot more “oomph” to the piece as a whole.
Just my thoughts on reading, of course. You don’t have to listen to any of it :)
On the whole I enjoyed this piece. Thank you for sharing it.
-M
I enjoyed the visuals in this piece. The representation of colours throughout links back to the title in a really effortless way.
I feel that the middle verse feels a little weaker than the rest of the poem. In terms of constructive feedback, I almost feel like if that middle verse wasn’t there it would actually add a lot more “oomph” to the piece as a whole.
Just my thoughts on reading, of course. You don’t have to listen to any of it :)
On the whole I enjoyed this piece. Thank you for sharing it.
-M
