Narrator

 I keep having this recurring dream
I’m watching my life on a movie screen
I’m the narrator and
The audience of every scene


***

I was born a baby under the sun
I’ve   made mistakes
Just like anyone….
Full of grace
She was my first ,my last
My heart tied to that place
It’s grey stone could be the only place
I could ever call home.


***
01


The towers came crashing down
My eyes could not believe
A new dawn I could not conceive.
I ate of the apple
And saw the sky shift.
In this new century I felt adrift
Clinging to old romantic dreams
Longing to be missed


***
05
That moment was bliss
I believed it was love
Alas it was never meant to be
without a bitter heart  I say
All the better that was for me.


***


Soulless .lifeless
She just cried for 10 minutes
I just sat blank
What could I say
The world changed today
Never to be the same
I remember last summer’s
Ceaseless rain
We scattered the ashes on the hill.
Their lying there still.
Growing great through heart ache
Pour life into my body
Fire to end this emotional winter.


***
08

The easy path is down
Scenes of situations feel like past lives
The moon is low tonight
I still have far to go.  
On the long road home.
It will never be enough
I can never be saved
Wasted my life  
chasing fantasties
and misguided disease
My voice is silent  
So much in love its heartache
So ready to love so unwilling to fall
There is life after love, or so they say
These old town streets can’t heal me now
No comfort in a crowd  
After parade I fell under the shade
All I see is sad faces all around
We played this game of cat and mouse to the end
I have looked into the face of the sun
Once I felt a lonely child without anyone
You spit bitter words
The streets are littered with people with pain in their eyes
That glimmer of hope dies
What do you see when you look at me,
the shadow of a man in insecurity.
curves and spirits cannot save me
It feels like reality has betrayed me



***
??????


We beautify creation with a story book lie
I’ve wrote this line far too many times
The warmth of your skin
Love looks down
A small town situation
I guess I liked you and  I don’t  know why
We live and learn and teach ourselves to lie
I wished we could have been friends
Lets not pretend
We move in different circles and
Your just not someone I could bear my soul to
Your so hollow  , I see right through you


***
08

The sun is on its death bed  
Capricorn is in the house


***


Dear friend you made me feel human when the world crushed my spark
The times when the voices are all you hear  
the trees block the sun   and you fall into the dark.
Girl you gave me joy
Helped me be reborn
When so much was dead or in ruins
In honest truth I don’t know where im going
but I  know where I’ve been.
You opened a whole new world to me


***
09


In a house of Athena
The future radiated
The sand no longer stuck to my feet
I breathed full and free
My mind never wandered from your shores
I lived a life of quiet to soak  you  in through my pores
Though I never had time for let be.
You made a new man of me
A new star to shine .  A new destiny.


***
We weren’t close
We hid the truth behind doors
Never to dare be opened
It was all  a sorry show
Gored my glow
Take me away
Caught in this twilight winter state
Held hostage in this place I hate
I ran from them and this is what I found

***
I'm back at the desk
staring at a blank page
considering what to write
if I were to put to pen to paper
and write out my life,
my story of age.