deepundergroundpoetry.com
Articulate, Awkwardly?
That thing where you write on
A back with fingertips;
Flesh semaphore of feelings.
If I conveyed my sunken depths
Your skin would be cut and torn.
That thing where you trap
An answer machine message;
Analysing the curve of each word.
If I searched mouth for meaning
Your lips would be barbed wire kissed.
That thing which steals into the night,
Wakes you up and
Laughs in your face.
That thing.
Those fucking things.
A back with fingertips;
Flesh semaphore of feelings.
If I conveyed my sunken depths
Your skin would be cut and torn.
That thing where you trap
An answer machine message;
Analysing the curve of each word.
If I searched mouth for meaning
Your lips would be barbed wire kissed.
That thing which steals into the night,
Wakes you up and
Laughs in your face.
That thing.
Those fucking things.
Published 8th May 2022
Author's Note
# ERULGCT 139. Uma xx # Central character 'Mouth,' Beckett's Not I.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 2
reading list entries 1
comments 4
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
9th May 2022 7:07am
Wow, this is just chock-full of some originally sourced, powerful intensity. Deeply sexy, romantic and some brutally honest pains, too.
For me, it's that juxtaposition, which you cleverly write about in a fresh and borderline obsessive way. (I say that in a very positive way) It's relatable, that fierce force of emotion, which teeters on the cusp of love and a sort of rabid passionate fixation that is think is more widely universal than imagined.
Then you add in that last stanza which burns bright into everyone's "Ohhh, exactly!" epicenter.... Yeah, definitely some mentally moving and thought provoking ink.
It hit such a nerve with me, leaving me a bit unsteady... and isn't that grand?!
Thank you for sharing with us 🙏
🌹 - B
For me, it's that juxtaposition, which you cleverly write about in a fresh and borderline obsessive way. (I say that in a very positive way) It's relatable, that fierce force of emotion, which teeters on the cusp of love and a sort of rabid passionate fixation that is think is more widely universal than imagined.
Then you add in that last stanza which burns bright into everyone's "Ohhh, exactly!" epicenter.... Yeah, definitely some mentally moving and thought provoking ink.
It hit such a nerve with me, leaving me a bit unsteady... and isn't that grand?!
Thank you for sharing with us 🙏
🌹 - B
9th May 2022 8:47pm
Many thanks for your considered words. I very rarely comment, so don't really deserve it.
We spend the same amount of time talking as we do sleeping, and yet communication (or lack of) remains a universal problem.
We spend the same amount of time talking as we do sleeping, and yet communication (or lack of) remains a universal problem.
9th May 2022 7:00pm
Oi ,
Love the metaphors and the depth you put into the poem and how i could still understand it , sorry my comment is making no sense . But this poem is beauty Blasted from a ray gun
Love the metaphors and the depth you put into the poem and how i could still understand it , sorry my comment is making no sense . But this poem is beauty Blasted from a ray gun
9th May 2022 8:48pm
