deepundergroundpoetry.com
the weight of it
It's like trying to ride a wave
that would rather drag you under
and the exhaustion of trying
to stay afloat isn't something
that's easy to explain
to someone who's never
felt the pull of the riptide
and feared what it could mean
to go under
...
I remember her dying
I remember my strength in that moment
as I held her hand and whispered
meaningless words of comfort
that couldn't change the outcome
though perhaps it was enough
that I was there
to let her know she didn't
have to suffer the ending alone
...
I dream of car crashes
and falling trees
I take the long way round
in the harsh daylight
imagining premonitions
where there are just demons
I fear dying
and leaving you behind
to navigate this world without me
...
I'm not sure I was strong enough
to carry the weight of her death
and perhaps I was naive
to think I would come through this
unscathed and unbroken
© Indie Adams 2022
that would rather drag you under
and the exhaustion of trying
to stay afloat isn't something
that's easy to explain
to someone who's never
felt the pull of the riptide
and feared what it could mean
to go under
...
I remember her dying
I remember my strength in that moment
as I held her hand and whispered
meaningless words of comfort
that couldn't change the outcome
though perhaps it was enough
that I was there
to let her know she didn't
have to suffer the ending alone
...
I dream of car crashes
and falling trees
I take the long way round
in the harsh daylight
imagining premonitions
where there are just demons
I fear dying
and leaving you behind
to navigate this world without me
...
I'm not sure I was strong enough
to carry the weight of her death
and perhaps I was naive
to think I would come through this
unscathed and unbroken
© Indie Adams 2022
Published 5th May 2022
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
5th May 2022 4:00am
It's a hell of a thing, to have grief be such a good emotion to write from.
Btw, your "meaningless words" were definitely worth more than you know. Perhaps your words went with her.
This is a wonderful piece of writing. It hit me a bit too hard I think.
Btw, your "meaningless words" were definitely worth more than you know. Perhaps your words went with her.
This is a wonderful piece of writing. It hit me a bit too hard I think.
5th May 2022 4:17am
Thank you Styxian. I hope my words reached her, though I'll never know. As hard as the aftermath is, I will never regret being there. I'm sorry you feel this so deeply. I wouldn't wish this grief on anyone.
5th May 2022 4:36am
Don't feel sorry. Not for getting your message out in a way that makes readers kick their empathy and understanding into gear. That is what a writer is supposed to do.
We all have our own grief, but we can share the feeling of it. It's universal.
Don't apologise for doing a good enough job on your write, to make readers "feel it".
We want those feelings in what we read. Good ones and bad ones. It's part of surviving this journey. We can walk with you, through the word path you create for us.
We all have our own grief, but we can share the feeling of it. It's universal.
Don't apologise for doing a good enough job on your write, to make readers "feel it".
We want those feelings in what we read. Good ones and bad ones. It's part of surviving this journey. We can walk with you, through the word path you create for us.
5th May 2022 8:22am
that weight is such an overwhelmingly relatable feeling .. i wonder sometimes, how so many of us can physically feel weight, and the lifting of it when it's mental and emotional things we have piled on top of us -- these fears and bad dreams, grief, guilt, huge stones laid on our shoulders.
"imagining premonitions
where there are just demons
I fear dying
and leaving you behind
to navigate this world without me" - this is such a palpable place for me.. lovely expression all round.
there's a lot to worry for, going under. just don't forget about friends and floating safety devices. you are strong enough.
"imagining premonitions
where there are just demons
I fear dying
and leaving you behind
to navigate this world without me" - this is such a palpable place for me.. lovely expression all round.
there's a lot to worry for, going under. just don't forget about friends and floating safety devices. you are strong enough.
5th May 2022 10:47am
Thank you Jesta. I'm lucky enough to have a really good support network at the moment. I'm working hard on reaching out when I need it. It's a work in progress.
