"too late"

you think you are a roach missing a wing
a wet dragonfly
a hobbled horse
punished for your past choices
and you think you deserve it

your mind is in as much danger as new orleans
and it is just as likely to move out of the way

nothing else can make me worry
but you

and your heart positioned like a weather balloon

the thought of you succumbing,
going under
hits me like dark green imaginings on the spillway

hits like the idea of my glorious life being snatched away
all at once
shreds of rubber making bitter breadcrumbs
marking my departure

how my mother
and my birth mother
would break
how my sister and brother
would wilt
how my dad and birth father
would shatter
like my spine and my windshield

how you'd need me,
and i would be all gone.

that's how it feels
to be at this stalemate
hurtling on.

this is tenuous,
but steady.
I have my eyes on the road.
I know how to drive.

there is still sun on my face,
and you falling asleep on my chest, now and then,
and your son growing, smiling,
standing up

Mark my words.
I am growing something divine
that will heal us all.
it is not too late.