When Sorry Isn't Enough

"You're my life."

But this is where you're wrong,
I'm not your life-I'm mine.

Your hair smells like shampoo,
when I cry into your cold shoulder.

Never once did I ask you to "understand";
or accept me for who I am (who ever that may be).

It's not that I don't love you,
it's just that I don't love me.

Not like I could explain why in the first place,
I could go through every year of my little life;
try to pinpoint the moment I started disliking myself.

I think it started a very long time ago,
you know, when I realized that I was that weird kid
no one liked, the one who always played 'dog' in
the game 'house'.

Now I'm just left with this awkward isolation,
that turns to depression so I don't do that project
I said I did because when I get like that
I don't care about anything.

Here's a secret:

I get scared.
I get anxious.
I get angry.

You may never understand why I feel these things,
even if given reason after reason; I get it.

I'm doing a horrible time with explaining.
Like I'm wasting my time.
Running my mouth.
Not writing good enough poetry.
Not accomplishing anything.
No job.
No license.
No... Ambition.

When sorry isn't enough,
there's an explanation.

This is that,
even if you don't
understand i(me)t.