MONSTER

this what
rises out of me
this black ooze
that binds me,
sinks me,
smothers me,
wants me broken,
dead,
forgotten,
wasted,
ruined

this what bends me in the middle
and hollows me
and scrapes me from the inside
and makes me waste my wishes
and my good prayers
and scoffs
and sneers
and puts me out
to wander in its cold

this bully

this monster
rising from a cancer
in my soul,
this bleak thing
that calls itself Truth
and spits
and curses
and howls my name
and mocks my good effort
and puts me in my place

this black hole
swelling
in my chest
that wants
and begs
and threatens
and rails
and finally takes
and licks my bones
with poison tongue
and swallows me

and goddamn

please...