Lost in thoughts pt1

Losing sense of being
The world has it's hands around my neck
It's farewell to life with every breath,
Hope is alive but slowly dying within
Starting to prefer death to this ache
Why were there no signs at birth..?
Growing tired of the pain
Feeling like giving in
yet will that make it go away
Told since the day of old
that 'Heaven receives not those who try to shortcut their way to it.'
Yet how does one live
Without peace of mind