IDEATION

the earth pulls
from up there
a crazy tug
on the psyche
that warns one
not to lean out so far
unless he really intends
to jump
 
it's safer in bed,
swaddled in a warm cocoon  
of familiar blankets,
the pills resting in their amber nest,
promising euphoria or
a slightly nauseous ride  
into the light
(if one can keep them down)
 
much better than the noose --
bulging eyes
and a swollen tongue
are an ugly finale
 
and the bullet is least likely --
sinister and uncaring,
tucked in the bottom drawer
of the bedside in case of intruder,
willing to make the kind of mess  
for which an apologetic note
is no consolation
 
and god knows,
you wouldn't do that
to anyone