deepundergroundpoetry.com
Mark my Words
Mark my Words
Feign the face that remains
On this obliged son,
So lost, he can’t contain
What worship he’s done
To commit to create,
While verse makes his vow
To adore all that awaits
Her beauty endowed.
Fortune finds her high cheeks
And pays pure witness
To confessions that seek
Her mind, not restless,
But of fair light born true
To herself, the soul
Of what want knows be few
Who hold body whole.
Stealth kept cues to her form,
Found readily right,
And displayed for forlorn
To lift to such heights
She occupies a place
To which mortals may
Grip themselves for the race
To see how she preys.
Here I make what I must,
An attempt to please
Such a spirit, I trust,
Finds favor – no tease,
In these words of full praise,
Which harbors not lust,
But want of each glass raised
To toast her heart just.
RVM (4/26/10)
Feign the face that remains
On this obliged son,
So lost, he can’t contain
What worship he’s done
To commit to create,
While verse makes his vow
To adore all that awaits
Her beauty endowed.
Fortune finds her high cheeks
And pays pure witness
To confessions that seek
Her mind, not restless,
But of fair light born true
To herself, the soul
Of what want knows be few
Who hold body whole.
Stealth kept cues to her form,
Found readily right,
And displayed for forlorn
To lift to such heights
She occupies a place
To which mortals may
Grip themselves for the race
To see how she preys.
Here I make what I must,
An attempt to please
Such a spirit, I trust,
Finds favor – no tease,
In these words of full praise,
Which harbors not lust,
But want of each glass raised
To toast her heart just.
RVM (4/26/10)
Published 11th Mar 2012
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27th Dec 2012 6:27pm
Bravo! You know this poem has an old school, shakespearean style to it that does make it more difficult to comprehend but it also gives it authenticity as real love is felt. I can't fully figure out the line
"Of what want knows be few" I dont know if its worded wrong or if I just cant understand.
I like the parts "obliged son" and "commit to create" I know that same feeling.
Technically this poem is well written. The rhyme pattern is smooth, I like that you maintain rhyme through the whole piece. The lines are consistent in length. And I admire the alliteration used throughout, the best examples in my opinion being "To commit to create" and "Who hold body whole".
Very talented write, worth reading again the future.
Great work.
"Of what want knows be few" I dont know if its worded wrong or if I just cant understand.
I like the parts "obliged son" and "commit to create" I know that same feeling.
Technically this poem is well written. The rhyme pattern is smooth, I like that you maintain rhyme through the whole piece. The lines are consistent in length. And I admire the alliteration used throughout, the best examples in my opinion being "To commit to create" and "Who hold body whole".
Very talented write, worth reading again the future.
Great work.
