Void Gazing

I stare off into the void
It always seems to find me
As I stand at the edge
And wonder if this will be
The last time I see this side
Of the world that hates me so
I put on my mask, and smile a bit
Assuring people that I am okay
I smile and it hurts my soul
To know that I don’t want to be here
These people are so kind to me
I don’t deserve this, I’m not okay
My confusion is deafening
As I listen to the voice telling me
That they will never love me
They will never accept me
That all of this is just an illusion
And the reality lies inside that void
It beckons me to stay with it
For just a little while longer
I am so tired of walking away
Why can’t I just stay a while longer
And listen to the truth that is says
That my reality is just a dream
And the void is the only real thing
That nothingness is all that I am
Trampled on by the illusions of joy