Do I Make A Sound?

There must have been 100 times that I wanted to call
Yet only sat here silently looking at my phone
There must have been 1000 times that I wanted to talk
Only to have pride take its full stock

But I'm standing right here, and you never see me
And I'm speaking these words and you never hear me
Is it any wonder that I don't see me?
Is there any wonder that I don't hear me?

Looking back in anger only makes me raw
Looking back in sadness I start to cry
Looking back in happiness feels like a lie
Looking back in sorrow until part of me dies

I'm looking at you, but you don't see me
You're looking at me, but I don't see you
I'm talking here can you hear me
I see your mouth moving but I don't hear you

I'm wondering and pondering and figuring this out
Until the voices in my head scream and shout
Is this the way that my life is supposed to go?
Forever surrounded in the dirty snow

Cars passing by that I can hardly see
Is it any wonder that they don't see me?
Now I'm walking and talking and waving my hands
Looking like a washed-up rock star riling up his fans

But it looks ridiculous now on the side of the street
And repulses those that I might meet
I wonder how I look to the passerby
As I wonder, “Do I even exist?”