Slowburn

  
I’ve been noticing
How fkn exhausting it is to  
Be the particular way that I am  
About things being done  
The right way  
And I’ve  
Been wanting  
For a life of higher luxury  
To pamper myself with status  
Adorning myself with  
Earthly desires  
Filling the  
Void  
That stares back  
I usually do it with music  
Rap has been bumping  
To my heartbeat and  
Keeping me going  
While arousing  
Me too  
Consuming the  
Things I can have because  
Right now I’m not allowing  
Myself to have anything  
I need for survival  
Slow suicide  
Starving  
For a sense of control  
Trying not to focus on  
Other things that  
Come cutting  
Away at  
Me  
When I  
Can’t sleep and  
I reach out for you but  
You’re just too far away  
Because I’ve hidden  
Myself too well  
This time  
   
   
I’m burnt the fuck out