My reason

Im the balance by my example they learn
And what have i taught the greatest i was not
Without them im not whole  my life spun out of my control
Isnt it loveing them to know they deserved  better
They are the reason every day my breath still expands my lungs
If  i lost the light that  guided me to be so many tears my eyes have stung
The feeling the only time as a manic schitzo effective i feel
Is when i am with my kids im not alive until im mom
The ability to love and the reason i even know how
Is my kids they are the beauty the future lies in thier hands
And i want a future that understands that has morals that is made up
From the gifts with which god saw fit to entrust to me
guess i dont see what he could see
hadnt ever felt as whole not a bit lonely cold or hollow
Not this lack of ability to lead and be someone theyd want to follow
As parents we grow we evolve theres a metemorphosis that for some
Like myself we are not truly alive unless we have something  besides ourselves
To worry about i bloom as an individual like a flower i need light to grow
We reap in life so shall we sew and ive been a betterme because
Of my children and without my light im lost in darkness
It casts  shadowed  streaks in time but i wouldnt give up our worst memories
Im here. To say that being a mom is sublime
The feeling when my son said mom i could never be mad at you
You always know
what is the right thing to do
I nearly started to cry  because i know he knows i love him
And  that loveing him means being able to be transparent  admiting
That i wasnt the best for him he deserves the very best and i didnt dilude
Myself
Lieing to myself wouldnt have. Been being a mother
Being a mom is the best accomplishment ive acheived


Security i didnt put my needs before theirs
I never could or would even addicted i am more addicted to having them in my world in my space i live in their hearts and they are my heart